From The News Shopper...
Posted 08/03/15 - Bottle of vodka stolen from off licence - An act of shoplifting is treated like the Great Train Robbery here.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 23/02/15 - "Sydenham's Rolf Harris..." - The News Shopper insist on claiming ownership of the disgraced Mr Harris due to the fact he lived in Sydenham for a few years in the mid 1970s. This story about the Government of Australia isn't what I'd call local.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 11/02/15 - Car fire in Lewisham - Not much of a story until you read that this car was apparently burning for nearly an hour and a half before the fire brigade arrived. This is either true or the reporter hasn't bothered to check the finished article...
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 10/02/15 - "Is Eltham McDonald's haunted by the ghost of a headless pregnant woman?" - The News Shopper asks the questions that the mainstream media shies away from. The story (and video) turn out to be even dafter than the headline suggests.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 09/02/15 - Three foxes found dead - And they were shot! Pointless story livened up only by the usual suspects insulting each other in the comments.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 05/02/15 - Angry mother (with obligatory angry photo) complains about school - Turns out that the entire problem was probably her fault for forgetting to write a note.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 29/01/15 - Retired army captain defends his driveway with a cannon - All good except for the fact that he doesn't really.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 28/01/15 - More Frozen related rubbish - Remember the days when you went somewhere and left quietly disappointed? Those days are long gone. Now you complain to the local paper that the thing you went to was "unsafe." Best complaint - "inadequate security" - at a kids' party! Some of the children are spoilt but their parents sound much worse.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 22/01/15 - Man on Twitter thinks the Lion King is better than Frozen - Twitter again. This nonsense only gets space on their site because the tweeter mentions Lewisham.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 22/01/15 - Fox seen at railway station - Like many non-stories on the News Shopper website, this has been pinched from Twitter.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 12/01/15 - Man Empties Back At Bus Stop - Just in case the description isn't unpleasant enough the News Shopper has provided a video.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 09/01/15 - Leaking Pipe Not Fixed After 7 days - From this story it would appear that if you have a complaint, no matter how trivial, the News Shopper will print it. Now updated with arms folded "we're very annoyed" photo.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 09/01/15 - Funeral Parlour Contains Bodies - Busybody complains that bodies are being taken into a funeral parlour. How did she imagine they got there?
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 08/01/15 - Swans Spotted Near Supermarket - Very common British species of bird spotted near very common British type of building. A waste of time all round.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 03/01/15 - Toy Helicopter Found - Seriously. The finder values at 150 quid. A comment puts it nearer 30. So the paper has started its own lost and found for toys now?
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 29/12/14 - Street Rubbish Bin "Defaced" - The remarkable thing about this story is that the reporter has picked on just one bin. This hilarious "joke" can actually be seen all over the borough.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 19/12/14 - Police escort cash vans in Petts Wood - A really well thought out headline and story. This News Shopper reporter thinks that cash machines get emptied rather than filled up. And even though this glaring mistake has been pointed out by a reader in the comments, the story remains uncorrected.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 18/12/14 - Penge residents try to protect their public toilets - Does anyone really care? A classic space filler on a slow news day.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 16/12/14 - Fire Brigade called to burning smell in West Wickham - More white-knuckle action from the newspaper that seems to want to report everything - even when, in cases such as this, there's absolutely nothing to report.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 15/12/14 - Sidcup is a bit smelly - Short and, ultimately, pointless. A bad smell was reported in Sidcup. A later update speculates as to the cause, and adds that someone in West Wickham also smelled something. Then the story is left to die.
Read Story
------------------------
Posted 15/12/14 - Woman is arrested for swearing at off-duty police officer, expects sympathy, gets the opposite - A classic example of what the News Shopper does best. The first comment is "let the carnage begin..." And it does. Hundreds of spiteful comments for you to enjoy.
Read Story
------------------------